Life in the movies vs. real life | Jobi Cool

In the movies, when someone knocks on your door and is like “housekeeping,” it’s almost always because someone wants to arrest and/or kill you. In real life, it’s a person with a cart of clean towels who wants to arrest and/or kill you, but is not allowed to because of the law.

Action heroes in movies never need to go to the bathroom. In real life, everyone has to go to the bathroom every day forever, and it’s extremely embarrassing.

In the movies, people would try to find strange sounds coming from the basement. In real life, you should never go to the basement, because this is where the rat king lives.

In the movies, Dennis Quaid is your father. In real life, you wish he was your father, but also your husband. It’s complicated!

In the movie, a woman loves you if you save her life. In real life, a woman will love you if you save her from teaching you how to express your feelings.

In movies, people always split into groups to solve a mystery. In real life, people are always divided over irreconcilable differences, and are ruining Christmas for everyone.

In the movies, you’re always getting invited to weddings of people you know and you’re like, “Man, another one Wedding?!” In real life, you’re always inviting people you know well to weddings, and it’s personally and financially damaging.

In movies, kids always seem to know everything. In real life, kids don’t know much, but you’re not allowed to tell them to their face.

In the movies, if a woman throws up it means she’s pregnant. In real life, a woman can throw up for many reasons, but most likely because of an unknown river disease.

In the movies, people say, “Follow that car!” as they are And the taxi driver will. In real life, you’re in a subway car full of strangers and must abide by the social contract.

In the movies, Prince Charming will sweep you off your feet. In real life, podcasts have made it so that every human being is insufferable.

In movies, teenagers always look like they’re in their twenties. In real life, teenagers always seem to laugh at you, and most of the time.

In movies, a high-school nerd can become popular after a makeover montage. In real life, a high-school nerd can only become a billionaire CEO of a major tech company (honestly sad, when you think about it).

In movies, all your dreams come true. You win the big game, fall in love, get the perfect job, and are able to achieve it all. In real life, dreams are just something your least favorite co-worker tells you every day, without prompting. ♦

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